Just Thinking

Two Old Bitties
12/4/2017 12:00:01 AM by: CL Lawrence

Two Old Bitties

            Two “old bitties,” shopping, trying new foods, sitting on the porch drinking iced tea, giggling at the mischief we got away with (or thought we did), finally telling those “one day I’ll tell you” secrets we promised not to die with.  Since childhood, married or not, that was the plan. No matter what life threw at us, we had our plan of being old bitties together.  Then suddenly, Fondra died. It wasn’t supposed to happen that way. Death wasn’t in the plan; never in the conversation.

            She loved and cared for me like a sister. Confidence was knowing there was someone proud of me no matter what; insisting the low road was not for me; encouraging me higher in my call.  I felt that ultimate "OK" when she gave her approval or that childish shame when I heard disapproval in the way she could say my name, never raising her voice, or speaking long narratives.  I'd never known life without her nor a day unaware that Fondra was there.

            Audible chatter of life around me, doesn’t matter.  The “To Do,” can stay undone. Test to take, don’t care.  Time, in freeze frame.  Breathing, but feeling lifeless.  Open eyes, see only darkness.  Then, through the clamor of silence, through the cracks of brokenness, a voice said, I’m here.  I’ll never leave you. That’s what resurrection feels like.

            Lazarus died in spite of the hope and expectation that Jesus would get there in time and intervene, and death wouldn’t happen, but it did.  I can imagine Lazarus, dressed in grave clothes, acquiesced to the reality of his death. Then Jesus called his name. How Lazarus must have wondered how life would be after knowing surrender to death; afraid to live again because death might come again.  What choice did he have but to live because Jesus called him from death to live again?  I think a different Lazarus came out from the grave. A different Lazarus was unwrapped from the grave clothes. Perhaps a knowing the difference between hope and expectation. Perhaps with a greater sensitivity of purpose. Perhaps with a greater dependence on the voice that called his name.

Scripture:  It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you, he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. - Deuteronomy 31:8 (ESV)

Share This Blog:


Previous Posts

Connected But Blocked
9/9/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

I am David / I am Goliath
9/4/2019 1:14:09 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Live Purposefully
8/26/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

It Isn't A Test. It's An Opportunity.
8/19/2019 9:48:59 PM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Rest Stops
8/12/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Just Be!
8/5/2019 6:40:27 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Bridges
7/29/2019 4:23:18 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Ask Not, Have Not
7/22/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Update Your Dreamware
7/15/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Adjust Your Focus - Adjust Your Flow
7/8/2019 4:59:19 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Can You Go With God's Flow
7/1/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Karma's GPS
6/24/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

The Lost & Found Department
6/17/2019 6:32:55 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Clean Your Cluttered Closet
6/10/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

What do you think of you?
6/3/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

What's Your Vibe Saying?
5/27/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Invisible on a Deeper Level
5/20/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

What Are You Willing to Give in Exchange?
5/13/2019 7:03:59 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Dancing With The Bumble Bee
5/6/2019 6:22:38 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Why You Still Here?
4/29/2019 5:42:17 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Watch Your Step!
4/22/2019 12:46:02 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Your Slip is Showing / Your Fly is Open
4/15/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

What's the Entrance Fee to Your Inner Circle ??
4/8/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrencwe

The Grass Might Be Greener!
4/1/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Your Blessing is Already Prepared
3/25/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

One Step At A Time
3/18/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Meditation from Three Magic Words
3/11/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

On the Rocks or Straight Up?
3/4/2019 8:08:36 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Don't Know What You Don't Know
2/25/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

What's Your Average?
2/18/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

What's Your "Because ...?"
2/11/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Nothing Wasted
2/4/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Is Your Needle Stuck?
1/28/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

What is YOUR Next Best Level???
1/21/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Are You Ready For The Next Level???
1/14/2019 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

No Elevators, No Escalators
1/7/2019 7:56:51 AM  by: CL Lawrence

New Year's Eve
12/31/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

The Nightmare Option
12/24/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes
12/17/2018 12:24:07 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Pre-existing Conditions
12/10/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Castles in the Sand
12/3/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Scars Remain
11/26/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Eye Chart
11/19/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Cruise on the SS New Perspective
11/12/2018 7:06:28 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Your Blessing Habit
11/5/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!
10/29/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

NFL (No Free Lunch)
10/22/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Ask The Right Questions
10/15/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Check Your Feathers
10/8/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Justice???
10/1/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Talk Talk Talk
9/24/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Cost of the Oil
9/17/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Know When To Let Go!
9/10/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Hurricane Season
9/3/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Schitt's Creek
8/27/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Need to Know
8/20/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Sit By The River ...
8/13/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

What if God says, "Yes?"
8/6/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

The HAT
7/30/2018 12:15:55 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Name It & Claim It!!!!??? Really!?
7/23/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

At The Party Part 3
7/16/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

At The Party Part 2
7/9/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

4th of July Picnic Conversation
7/2/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

At The Party Part 1
6/25/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Do You Want to be Healed?
6/18/2018 7:06:10 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Light That Fuse, Baby
6/11/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Has Life Passed You By?
6/9/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Release and Allow
6/4/2018 10:31:35 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

It's Never Too Late
5/28/2018 10:22:17 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

It's Offering Time
5/21/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

The Table is Set
5/14/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Just Say No!
5/7/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Can't Be Afraid to Try New Things
4/30/2018 8:23:48 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Teachable Spirit
4/23/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

OK, God, Here's the Deal
4/16/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Words - No Expiration Date
4/15/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Is There a Mulberry Bush in Your Yard?????
4/9/2018 2:48:32 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Appetite
4/3/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

So, What's Your Crazy?
3/26/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Aimlessness
3/19/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

PURPOSE
3/12/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

$1.00 STORE BLESSING???
3/5/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Thoughts in Plain Sight
2/26/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

So, What's in Your Garden?
2/19/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Power Point
2/11/2018 8:00:34 PM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Get Your Mind Right
2/5/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Throw the Dog a Bone
1/29/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

On Friendship
1/22/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

There's Only One Closet
1/15/2018 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Clean Up & Take Control
1/8/2018 1:24:23 PM  by: C.L. Lawrence

What You Allow Will Continue
12/31/2017 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Last Night's Dirty Dishes
12/18/2017 12:00:01 AM  by: C.L. Lawrence

Two Old Bitties
12/4/2017 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Under The Juniper Tree
11/30/2017 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Stay in Your Lane
11/22/2017 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Never The First Choice?
11/15/2017 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

No Need to Speed
10/27/2017 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Who Do People Say You Are?
3/9/2017 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Life's Priorities
1/24/2017 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

God is Always in Control
3/3/2016 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence

Can you Keep A Secret?
2/23/2016 12:00:01 AM  by: CL Lawrence